R2 Day 27 - Yoga, ARX

Yoga and Ab Ripper X. No dramas. I'm starting phase 2 on Thursday, and I've decided to really commit to getting fit and strong, and that means raising the intensity of my workouts and not eating any more chips and chocolate, and not drinking any more coffee. Looking at myself in the mirror, I guess I look like an off-season AFL footballer at the moment. The muscle is there, but so is the fat. As I've said before, I'm not worried about my weight, but last night when I was doing Core Synergistcs I remembered how hard it was the first time I did it back in May, and how far I have come since then. Then I thought, wouldn't it be a shame if I was ever went back to that level of fitness after all this hard work, and if I did, I wondered if would I ever be able to do it all again. I don't know. The amount of work I did in the Summer was ridiculous. It was great, too, but every day I would be drenched in sweat and just wasted. But then I looked at it the other way. I've come this far, but I have never really committed to it except for the hour or so I do the workouts every day. I know I've said this heaps of times, but I've used working out as a justification to eat and drink (well, not drink, I rarely drink alcohol now, not here anyway, but certainly eat) pretty much the way I always have. I don't have the big heavy meals I used to, but I still have the chips, the chocolate, the cake, the ice-cream, the coffees, all that shit. Wouldn't it be a shame to come this far and not fully commit (for at least two months, anyway) and see where it takes me? I would love to have a photo of me aged 35 and just ripped and in the best shape of my life that I can look at in the years to come, and my boys can look at when they get older, and just think "Fucking hell, 35?" Know what I mean? When I hear people say that you can work out all you want, but diet is the most important thing, I think, nah, that can't be true. But it must be, because I'm not losing any weight. I think I've done the work to put on muscle, now I'd like to work on losing a couple of kilos just to see how I would look and feel. I think I'll go to the sports room here at work now and weigh myself. There's no work to do and it's really boring... Holy shit! 83.3 kgs! That means since I finished the first round of P90X I've put on almost 2 kgs! Probably the trip to Australia that did it. Ok. I won't weight myself again until after the last workout of the Recovery week after Phase 2 which will be on the 2nd of December, and my goal weight will be 80 kgs. That's pretty realistic, and I would fully expect to be in the 70's somewhere. Even if I do get down to 80, that's still five kgs heavier than when I started P90 back in September last year. I'll take a photo on Thursday before the workout, and a photo after the workout on the 2nd of December.
You know, I've been thinking about this for a couple of days now, like "On Thursday I'll really put my head down and work hard for two months and go after the results... which means I'd better buy a pack of chips tonight because I won't have the chance to do so in a couple of days." That's how I thought when I was a smoker, only now I'm applying it to chips. *sigh* Have your precious chips on the night of the 2nd of December, asshole. An early Christmas present.
So that's the challenge. Question is; do I have the minerals? Do I have the sack to do this? The little voice that is getting me to eat the chips and chocolate and that is sabotaging my efforts would say, gee, I dunno, mate. Sounds pretty tough. But the last year has been all about proving that little voice wrong when it says I can't do something because it's hard, or because it takes too long. I've been giving that little voice too much room to move lately. Too much space. I know I can never fully destroy the little voice. But I can tame it, and I can ignore it.
Only one thing left to say: BRING IT!