Bored At Work

I have mentioned before that one hard thing about Japanese is the lack of a subject in a sentence. They say stuff like "Went shopping, met a friend, said, how's it going." But of course sometimes they have to include a subject to make it clearer who's doing stuff. It's really hard because there is no simple "I" and "you" in Japanese. For the "you", the best thing is to refer to the person by name. So I might ask Goto-san "What did Goto-san do today?" It sounds kind of weird, but you get used to it. If you don't know their name, call them their job. There's a guy at Junko's parent's supermarket that she has known since she was born, but she doesn't know his name, even though they talk every day. He is just "Fish shop man". If you don't know their name or job, you have to ask their name. Otherwise you have to call them "anata", which is mainly used by married couples talking to each other. "Anta! Where'd you put the keys!" etc. But of course, foreigners are taught that this means "you", which technically it does, and use it for everyone, which is stupid. But I want to focus on "I" today.
The first thing a beginner Japanese student learns to say is their name. "I am (Jim)." This would be "Watashi wa Jimu desu." Forget the grammar and the pronunciation and all that, you can pretty much assume that "watashi" means I. And it does. So for the first year of study, foreigners say "Watashi wa this" and "Watashi wa that". I also mentioned before that because the subject is usually omitted in Japanese, then it sounds strange to Japanese people when foreigners continuously refer to themselves. "I, myself, went shopping, and as for me, I bought a hat." So you gradually learn not to say it because you don't hear Japanese people saying it.
But then, like Japanese people, you sometimes have to refer to yourself to make things clearer. So you say watashi. But then Japanese people who are on good enough terms with you shake their head and say "If you are a woman, fine. If you are a man, no good. You shouldn't use watashi." WTF? You throw your hands up in frustration. "Why are they teaching me shit that no-one uses!"
This is a good point. The stuff you learn in Japanese school and books, you never here in the real world of Japan. If you use what they teach you in beginner text books, you come off sounding like an idiot. We don't teach beginner English students to say "how do you do?" or "you may call me Jim" the first lesson. People's first impression of you would be "who's this fucking idiot" wouldn't it? It comes down to the people who write the textbooks, and the people who teach Japanese. "It's important to be polite" seems to be the overriding rule when it should be "it's important to be friendly."
So after a few years of study you learn that men shouldn't use "watashi" when referring to themselves. It sounds gay. Great, I've been sounding gay for two years, you think. You should say "boku." Ok, boku. Never seen it in a textbook, but now that you mention it, that's what most of the men say. But then there's another one you keep hearing men say. "Ore." It seems like that also means "I". You ask your teacher if it does. She shakes her head. "Yes, it does. But never use it. It is not polite." WTF!
I don't want to be polite! I don't want to sound gay! I want to speak normal, everyday Japanese! If that means that normal Japanese is not polite, who cares?
I say "boku". It's the easiest and most common. But it took years to discover this and feel confident using it. I'm talking about this because I just read an article about the word and where it comes from. Literally it means "your servant". It's humble-speak.
Picture a guy having his his first Japanese lesson.
Teacher - "What is your name?"
Student - "Watashi wa Jimu desu."
T - "No."
S - "But it says 'watashi' in the book!"
T - "I know but it's wrong. 'Boku'. Not 'watashi'. What is your name?"
S - "Boku wa Jimu desu."
T - "No."
S - "But you said use 'boku'. And I said 'boku.'"
T - "I know but it's wrong. Don't say it at all. What's your name?
S - "Jimu desu."
T - "To be honest, you don't even really need the 'desu'. What's your name?
S - "Jimu?"
T - "Good."
S - "Holy shit."
That is so Japanese. Suspicious of anything easy.
Still, I appreciate anything that gets me thinking. Later.