Last night I just crashed. I felt shit all day with hayfever. When I went home the family was grumpy. Will said he couldn't play with me because he hated me and I was stinky (which I wasn't), Joseph was sooky and crying, wife was tired and uncommunicative. The day was a right-off and I went to bed at a quarter to nine. No exercise, no Lost, nothing.
I'm watching Lost now at lunch, season 5 episode 1, and just then I was thinking, wow, look how quickly Ben changes his plans when the situation changes. He is very adaptable. That's something people like CNN keep telling us is that you have to be adaptable. Adapt to a constantly changing world, all that stuff. I thought, I wonder how adaptable I am? But then I thought, it's not about being adaptable. It's about sticking to what you know you need to do. From CNN's point of view, the world is a volatile, unpredictable, fluid place that is always challenging people to change with it. In my world, my job is dull, the work is the same, I wake up the same time, catch the same train with the same people, passed by the same cars on the way to work from the station, sit with the same people every day, and then after work catch the same train home. I'm sure it's probably the same for most people. My point is that the only thing I have to adapt to is everything being the same all the time. A lot of the changes in my life are brought about by myself, usually subconsciously. Like when I was let go by the Melbourne Institute of Chartered Accountants for "performance issues" (Oh? You're an accountant? No, I just answer the phones and get the mail out). Even though I could not afford to lose that job, it sucked ass and I hated it, and really I forced them to make the decision that I couldn't. Pretty passive/aggressive behaviour. I could easily do the same thing here with this job, but I'm not sure anyone would notice! I'm sure that if there was a big earthquake or aliens came or something then I would adapt pretty well. It's adapting to everything being the same all the time that is hard.
So, maybe a reaffirmation of my goals is in order.
Best shape of my life. I'm in good shape now, but I eat too much shit. 10 days till my birthday. "You can do anything for 10 days, right?" Stop eating shit!
N1 Japanese by July 2012. That seems like a long way away, but it isn't. And it's going to take that long to pass it. It's tough!
Australia before 40. Living where I want to live. I'm praying for a real estate crash.
If I don't keep working hard, none of these goals will happen. A couple of years ago I would have despaired looking at them, now I know I can do the work.
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